Too independent?

I keep meaning to blog every night, but something comes up, I forget, I'm tired... or more recently, I've had writer's block. I've simply not been inspired enough to write about much. I haven't had much luck pinpointing what's going on...

I had hoped that the Amrith retreat (regional retreat in Prescott through my Sai center) would rejuvenate me. But that didn't do it either. It wasn't as inspiring as last year, and I came back with a void. I can feel it, but I can't place it! There's been a disconnect somewhere and I just can't figure it out.

Dad was here for a few days. It was great seeing him after 2years or so. It really made me think about how independent I've become. I have a routine and life pretty much follows along. There are bumps along the way, no doubt about that. But in the end I've been strutting along a path that I've defined for myself. Every time dad or mom ask me about my future, and start the infamous "It's high time you start thinking about marriage...we've given you all the freedom..." ordeal, I stop and think. What do I really want? Who do I really want? Some of those parameters are fuzzy. But even if it were crystal clear, have I become too independent? Or am I just numb to the idea that someone can care even half as much?

I've been asked more than once if I want to be with another Sai person. I've gone back and forth. Externally I've always said it doesn't matter as long as I can continue doing what I do. But something inside of me tugs at the core and I stop and question if I'm deceivingng myself by saying that. Center is such a huge part of my life now. It's what keeps me going through it all...but am I putting myself in an even smaller circle?

What choices does that leave me though? How do I figure it all out? It's all one big conundrum!

Does all of this boil down to the sometimes obvious reality? Is it that I've become too comfortable with my independence??? Or am I overly cautious about putting my wall down and setting myself up in a situation where I have nothing but my independence and resilience to fall back on?

Ironically, I was just about to sign off when I heard this on One Tree Hill:
There are over 6 billion people in the world today!
Some are running away from things, and some are coming home
Some tell lies to make it thru the day, and others are just not facing the truth
Some are evil men at war with good, and some are good, struggling with evil
6 billion people in the world! 6 billion souls! And sometimes...
...all you need is ONE!