Parents of the world...
I decided to watch one of my favorite movies this week. It was a good way to unwind and relive moments:) Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham or K3G for all us desis:)
(start rant) If it's so cool to abbreviate every movie title, Karan Johars of the world, Yash Raj Films of the world! why do you even bother with titles that take as long to get right as it probably does to get through the actual movie! (/end rant)
The scene: Amitabh finds out about Rahul (Shahrukh) and Anjali (Kajol) and gives Rahul a really cold lecture about parampara, and reet riwaaz etc. Rahul then decides to call things off because he respects his father's values etc and can't stand to see tears in his father's eyes. Rahul heads to the locality Anjali lives in to give her the news and end things. When he gets there he sees that Anjali's father has passed away. In the moment of the situation Rahul decides to marry Anjali. He picks his love for Anjali and what his heart tells him is the right thing to do. He picks this over everything his father said. He's kicked out of home in the process!
My thoughts: This situation is such an everyday story in Indian families. Every day there's at least one couple who's made to choose between family and their own happiness. Every day there's at least one guy who breaks a girl's heart, and a girl who breaks a guy's heart. Every day...
It took something as extreme as a death in the movie, for the guy to stand up for what he thought and felt. He gained in one hand and lost in the other.
As kids, we have so much faith in our parents. Boundless faith and respect that they will never leave our side, and will always be there through the thick and thin. Why is it so hard for parents in turn to have that same unconditional faith in us! The minute we're independent and have a thought of our own, it's shut down and we hear the infamous "you think we don't know what's right for you?"...
Parents of the world, have any of you stopped to think that the minute you lose faith in our ability to make a sound judgement, you're losing faith in your own parenting skills? in our upbringing? in yourself? When we left home you had faith in the value system you built for us. Now we're at a point in time where we're faced with decisions. We've thought everything through and we've thought about the value systems and how everything fits together. The only thing missing from the equation... Your faith that we've done just that.
This post is going in a very different direction that I had intended when I started. but here's something to ponder...
1) Is there ever a point in life when parents don't in fact know what's best for you?
2) How do you tell them that without risking being disowned! :)
3) At what point do you choose one side over another. Who do you hurt?
4) What do you do when someone elses decision to do or say something impacts the rest of your
life, and you're judged by that decision. Even though you had no control over it!
Disclaimer: I have had ups and downs and decisions to make. some sound decisons...many not so sound decisions. mom and dad have stood by me through thick and thin and trusted my decisions. I'm thankful today more than ever! because I know they will always have unwavering faith in me. but more realistically, in how they've brought me up!
posted by Rams @ 5:56 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
thought provoking - at the same time I think I can hazard a guess at your line of thought.
you're on the right track! will update you later
Parents are sometimes over-protective. It’s a natural consequence of love mixed with fear.
Reply:
1) Yes there are points where parents really don’t know what is best for you.
2) You have to talk to them in terms of their value system and then explain them the reasons why you chose that way and what will happen if you choose that way. And you should try to find a way in which you can compliment your decision with their value system. (Sometimes its hard to convince them of their notions and beliefs. The best way, is to instill trust in them, by assuring them that you are infact trying to balance life with whatever they have taught you and also trying to cope with the “changing” world.
3) There comes a point where you have to see a far vision. And choose wisely the way which is beneficial for everyone, especially you.
4) The point is – if you can understand and move with the situation, its ok. The idea is you should feel, you have made a “decision to accept” the decision made by someone else. Until and unless you don’t do that, you will always get frustrated. OR you change your course from the decision made by someone else for you. You have to make the decision to be happy.
I don’t know how far I was able to empathize with your situation. I tried to answer generally, which might not be precise solution.
P.S: Even the points what I presented are suggestions and not solutions. And YOU have to choose whether they apply or not. Its always your CHOICE.
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